Skinny girls that act like they’re fat are annoying as hell.

like for real tho

it’s something I don’t get lol

 Maybe it’s dysmorphia?

It’s like, I’m pretty thin, but I never feel thin enough. I can never be thin enough. Like, even at my thinnest, which was not a healthy weight, I didn’t look as thin as a model, all photoshopped and smooth. Is that dysmorphia? I don’t know. 




Most of my followers know that on September 20, 2013 I was raped in my dorm in Centennial Hall at The University of Minnesota-Twin Cities by an acquaintance I had met in my first couple of weeks on college campus as a freshman. His name is Levi Carstensen…

I was really concerned about how much internet access I would have, but it’s really not been a problem at all. First of all, I can go to cafes. I haven’t yet. I don’t feel comfortable enough navigating in the city yet, but hopefully soon I will. But the institute I’m studying at has wifi and I’m welcome to stay several hours after class ends if I want using the wifi. I can also connect my phone to it, so I’ve been able to send iMessages and use google maps on my phone, which I like. 

I also feel more comfortable in my host family’s home already. I had been trying to speak Hindi, but then yesterday it seemed like other people in my program were speaking English with my host family. I’m still trying to speak Hindi when I know how to say what I want to say in Hindi, but otherwise I have been speaking English and that has allowed them (my host mom especially) to get to know me better. Tonight she is taking me shopping (yay, so excited). 

Right now I’m at the institute. It’s 2:20pm here. I’m going to hang out until 3:00 (chai time), have some chai, then go to home and go shopping with Kirti Jii (host mom). 

Friday afternoon the institute is taking us on an excursion around the city and Saturday I’m going to an Indian wedding. Today I met my language partner, an Indian student who will meet with me for one hour a week. She seems very nice. I asked her what she does with her friends and she said she goes shopping and eats at restaurants. That doesn’t sound like what I do with my friends at all…hahaha. Also, next week I will start Indian cooking classes! 

Heyyy from India


I’m in India and I pretty much really hate it and hate that I’m here, but I’m hoping that feeling will fade asap. Like, okay, I won’t say this anywhere except here but there are two things I really am not digging right now. First, I’m not supposed to go anywhere alone, but that means asking people to walk with you and go everywhere with you and I hate that. Second, I’m so sick of Indian food, but it’s all we eat all the time ever. Like, in America we eat Thai food and Italian food and Mediterranean food and Chinese food (well, kind of) and American food and even Indian food. But all they eat here is American food. Lord help me. I also feel very awkward at my host family’s house, as anyone would living in some random family’s house. Plus, I might be rude as hell here. I don’t know if I’m being rude because I don’t really know what rude is. I also really want to buy India style clothing, but I haven’t yet, so I’m stuck wearing my shitty American clothes. Also, I really miss home. I miss my friends, I miss my mom and dad and grandma, I miss my cats, I miss my neighborhood and my apartment, I miss drinking and smoking, I miss America, damn. I would rather be in Seattle or DC or New York or fucking Utah, but not in India. I am sick of India. 

Good news, though, my host family is really nice. I might get to go to and India wedding on Friday. My host family has 4 dogs (Sherry, Pepper, Sugar, and Brutus). I like the people I’m in the program with. Tomorrow we get to break into classes, so that should be cool. Then the day after tomorrow we will actually start doing classes and I will start having homework, which will give me things to do to take my mind off of how much I miss everything. Also, soon we will get paired up with out language partner, which will be nice. And we will start doing our cultural classes (I might do yoga or cooking or clay art, I don’t know yet). I have internet at the school I’m at, so that’s cool. Yeah. 

I IM’d my mom last night and I really hope that she buys a phone card and calls me tonight because even though I will probably bawl my eyes out getting to talk to her, it will be soooooo nice to hear her voice. 

Okay, bye for now. 




I got to leave work really early so here’s some photos of me in new lipsticks I’ve acquired over the past three weeks or so

The two reds are different even though you can’t tell in photos. One is a lot more orange-y when it’s on

goshdarnsj, here ya go!

1: La Flemme lip gloss by Fierce Magenta
2: Purple Iris lipstick by Fierce Magenta
3: Idk the color but it’s from The Color Workshop
4: Flamenco Girl by Fierce Magenta
5: Another color from The Color Workshop
6: Golden Peach by Fierce Magenta

I saw a post about Fierce Magenta cosmetics like a month ago, and they’re an awesome Etsy store with a billion colors I think you’d really like. They’re AMAZING and stay on really well and are super moisturizing too. They had a 5 sample sizes for $28 deal which was worth it imo.

The Color Workshop ones I got for free and they’re not labeled, so I have no idea what they’re called.



Secret city design tricks manipulate your behaviour

When Selena Savic walks down a city street, she sees it differently to most people. Whereas other designers might admire the architecture, Savic sees a host of hidden tricks intended to manipulate our behaviour and choices without us realising – from benches that are deliberately uncomfortable to sculptures that keep certain citizens away.

Modern cities are rife with these “unpleasant designs”, says Savic, a PhD student at the Ecole Polytechnique Federerale de Lausanne in Switzerland, who co-authored a book on the subject this year. Once you know these secret tricks are there, it will transform how you see your surroundings. “We call this a silent agent,” says Savic. “These designs are hidden, or not apparent to people they don’t target.” Are you aware of how your city is manipulating you?

In 1999, the UK opened a Design Against Crime research centre, and authorities in Australia and the US have since followed suit. Many of the interventions these groups pioneered are familiar today: such as boundary marks painted around cashpoints to instil an implied privacy zone and prevent “shoulder surfing”.

San Francisco, the birthplace of street skateboarding, was also the first city to design solutions such as “pig’s ears” – metal flanges added to the corner edges of pavements and low walls to deter skateboarders. These periodic bumps along the edge create a barrier that would send a skateboarder tumbling if they tried to jump and slide along.

Indeed, one of the main criticisms of such design is that it aims to exclude already marginalised populations such as youths or the homeless. Unpleasant design, Savic says, “is there to make things pleasant, but for a very particular audience. So in the general case, it’s pleasant for families, but not pleasant for junkies.”

Preventing rough sleeping is a recurring theme. Any space that someone might lie down in, or even sit too long, is likely to see spikes, railings, stones or bollards added. In the Canadian city of Calgary, authorities covered the ground beneath the Louise Bridge with thousands of bowling ball-sized rocks. This unusual landscaping feature wasn’t for the aesthetic benefit of pedestrians walking along the nearby path, but part of a plan to displace the homeless population that took shelter under the bridge.

So next time you’re walking down the street, take a closer look at that bench or bus shelter. It may be trying to change the way you behave.